The Scrawling of a madman on vacation
Is that what the "M" is for?
The most recent comment on this page…
You probably already knew this but I’m a bit slow when it comes to these things… I’m pretty sure I am a madman
Here’s some of my drawings from my recent vacation to Iceland + Italy
These REALLY do seem like the scrawling of a madman… did you already know that I was out of my mind? Why didn’t you tell me?
I already knew I was a damaged and disturbed person because of things that have happened in my life but I didn’t realize I was an actual lunatic until now-
So now that I know I’m a madman…
You know… looking back… when I was about 10- I used to smash living snails on my forehead to scare other kids- thats kind of weird eh?
I also took a dead snake to elementary school when I was about 8 to throw at kids at recess- I kept the dead snake in my desk during class then took it out at recess to throw at kids- then I put it back in my desk- at home I stored it in the freezer so it wouldn’t rot- I kept bringing it to school until a teacher took it away- thats kind of mad yeah?
After the teacher took my dead snake away I got angry and weaponized my desk- I used the screws coming out of the underside of the desk + paperclips + rubberband’s + a pencil so when you opened my desk it fired the pencil at whoever was opening it- the teacher got angry about that-
There’s so many other instances like that- so yeh I’m pretty sure I’ve always been a lunatic- that’s probably what allowed me to do things other people couldn’t do like created animated feature films alone with no budget that didn’t look like they were made by one broke person is some shitty room-
And yeah- only a lunatic could make something like Nightmare Puppeteer
BUT something like Nightmare Puppeteer requires some pretty tricky programming so a normal poo scrawling madman could not create it-
I must be a madman with technical skills that is self aware- like yeh I know that I’m out of my mind but the thought of that just makes me laugh- it makes me laugh like when people are terrified and bewildered by my work- its the same feeling I got when they ran away screaming from me smashing the snail guts on my forehead or when they ran away screaming from the dead snake I was throwing at them-
So I always enjoyed confusing/terrifying people- making them feel bewildered… this was probably the main cause of the DISSONANCE that occurred in 2007 when my film “We are the strange” got into big film festivals and all these unknowing people appeared to try and market/make money from it and me-
I was a lunatic doing what I always do and then I felt I was being punished for being me- that I needed to change my work to appeal to more people etc- it was a tough time but I got through it with insanity intact.
Fast forward and I love my life- I love my work, I love my wife, I love my friends and what tiny family I have- I love the people who truly appreciate my work-
I’m a madman but I’m happy.
I won’t say much more about it but as a child I was on the path to becoming a serial killer or some kind of dangerous psycho-
Tortured/killed small animals
Obsessed with fire, started fires
Anti-social/didn’t attend school
Used to make pipe bombs for fun
Angry and isolated
*Also pretty sure I was part of some trauma based mind control thing when I was a kid as well- like MKULTRA shit- they showed me horrible things I couldn’t escape from seeing 0_0
I still get depressed sometimes and get into suicidal ideation. My work has always been my therapy though- when I feel bad I just get into my work- make a song, work on a story, work on a film, work on a game prototype-
So yeh it took me a long time to realize that I am a madman- but now I know-
What will knowing that change? I don’t know… but here’s a cat with a fish…
I was on vacation with my wife for about a month but it took me 3 weeks to get to the point where I could actually enjoy myself and have fun with the help of two shots of grappa and a bunch of beers then swimming for a few hours haha
Anyway, to the people that appreciate what I do- thank you. Your support and attention is appreciated and I’ll always do my best to keep you entertained and surprised(without smashing snails in my head)
The leader of the deranged gang