Art/Film and mental illness

I could walk up to someone and say "The giant mechanical envelope folding trilobite from the fourth dimension refuses the call of the illuminatus trilogy because dolphin's have more folds than Jim" I could say that because I was being "creative"  and "quirky" er some shit....or I could just be "mentally ill" Where is that line? What part does art play to keep mental illness at bay?

Some of us like to have our own little in jokes that we use with our groups of friends... some people have "in jokes" that only they understand and then they get upset or frustrated because no one knows WTF they are talking about...and then they become aggressive and accusatory... I think that's when you become mentally ill... you get lost in your own convolutions figuratively AND literally...

This past week since I was waiting on renders and didn't have any intense work to do... I felt like my mind was being torn apart 0_o I felt.... well.... kind of crazy... and I've had that happen a few times in my life BUT art was always there to save me... I have little hints of OCD, ADHD, and even autistic traits but since I channel all my madness, anger, obsession, frustration, angst and confusion into the things I create I've remained relatively healthy... just don't ask a psychologist to analyze me through this blog ^ ^

I mean if you look at some of the traits of OCD, ADHD and perhaps Asperger's... you could see how if applied to solo animated feature film production they could be viewed as strengths right? So if you have been diagnosed with those thangs... MAYBE you were just a born artist or filmmaker ^ ^ HYPER FOCUS, OBSESSIVE attention to detail etc...

NOW I have never been tested or diagnosed for anything this is just conjecture about lacking social abilities... When I was 12 I had one friend but I interacted with other people some time... one day my friend took me aside and said "Mike everyone hates you, all you do is talk about yourself and your opinions... you totally ignore everyone else's thoughts and feelings" etc... It really shocked me at the time because I didn't even know 0_o Was I unable to read people's feelings? Or was I just a huge jerk? After that I made a huge effort to try and read and understand what other people were thinking and feeling so that I could act accordingly, I was awkward for a long while... now again this is just conjecture but I was thinking about it... if you had to WORK to try to read people's moods and feelings and if you got really good at it.... IT would make perfect sense that you would able to take an inanimate object and inject thoughts and feelings into it... like become an animator... since you learned all the little things people do and the way they move and the way they look at things and what that means.... then it would give you an advantage when trying to re-create it eh? So your perceived "weaknesses" might even be STRENGTHS when applied to the right thing....

The "passions"... when they flow through you are like electricity or FIRE... if you don't have a way to get all alchemical and trans-mutate them and allow them to pass through you... then your mind will be burned to a crisp and you will probably be...well.... NUTS... lots of people take med's to numb or block these waves of energy as they are a little scary... I mean there is real mental illness out there that has nothing to do with the passions I know...its kind of always been known that those who have a great affinity for the arts also have a lot of potential to go NUTS

Its like your a lighting rod without a ground... YOU GONNA GET FRIED.... So what is your ground? When the fire and electricity of passion strikes you what will you do? Go nuts? Puff some Dro? OR CREATE SOMETHING? I say create something... its the healthiest form of therapy I've found... so then you create something with your therapy... a film... a song... THEN you can look at it... reflect on it...have it reflect on you... you learn...you understand the nature... the meaning... the message behind that bit of PASSION and you become better because of it... ALSO you can share it with other people... which can bring you joy sometimes..maybe even make you friends?... AND maybe somewhere down the road you can make a living off of it?! Sounds pretty great eh?

The thing is that you've got to sit with your thoughts and feelings... you've got to listen to your inner voice whether its whispering or SCREAMING... you've got to be attentive to YOU... your HIGHER self and your LOWER self... most of the thoughts and feelings are TERRIFYING to most people and they can feel that way sometimes but the more you acknowledge them the less terrifying they seem...unless eventually your totally comfortable when them all... even the ones that call you a worthless loser... I get that inner voice a lot...but I tell it..."eh whatever I'm making this DOPE film so fawk you!"

So that's been my secret to remaining sane, happy and productive... Since my only escape or relief from mental/emotional turmoil is to create something... all through my life the worse I felt the more I would create... and the more I created the better I felt... so it kind of balances things out...Brought to you by professional weirdo M dot Strange.